The Slick and the Brain-Dead

And, no, this isn't about congressional Republicans and poor, tragic Terri Schiavo, may God have mercy on her and those who love her.

This is about poor, tragi-comic "Jeff Gannon's" curious determination to sqeeze every last drop of indignity out of his ill-gotten fame.

At this point, of course, exposing Mr. "Gannon's" vacuity is like exposing Tom DeLay's hypocrisy. The novelty is just plain gone. But, for some reason, the New York Times Magazine decided to feature Mr. "Gannon" in this week's "Questions For..." feature. Bless them. This exchange between reporter Deborah Solomon and Mr. "Gannon" is not to be missed.

Q: Scott McClellan, the press secretary to President Bush, called on you and allowed you to ask questions on a nearly daily basis. What, exactly, is your relationship with him?

I was just another guy in the press room. Did I try to curry favor with him? Sure. When he got married, I left a wedding card for him in the press office. People are saying this proves there is some link. But as Einstein said, "Sometimes a wedding card is just a wedding card.''

You mean like "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar''? That wasn't Einstein. That was Freud.

Oh, Freud. O.K. I got my old Jewish men confused.

You should learn the difference between them if you want to work in journalism.

I'd like to get back into journalism. I'm hoping someone will offer me a job as a commentator or one of those political analysts that you see on the news shows all the time.

Hope springs infernal.