Astronaut Assault

[UPDATED]

The Internet is all atwitter about the story of a NASA astronaut who allegedly assaulted a woman who she perceived as a romantic rival.

The Washington Post plays it for laughs in its Off/Beat blog with a post titled "Astronauts Gone Wild."

Lisa Marie Nowak is accused of driving 900 miles to kidnap Colleen Shipman an Air Force Captain who Nowak believed was romantically involved with fellow astronaut William Oefelein. The 43-year-old suspect wore a wig, trenchcoat and diaper so she wouldn't have to take bathroom breaks on her journey from Houston to Orlando International airport where she allegedly accosted Shipman and sprayed her with mace.

A police search of her bag turned up a steel mallet, 4 feet of rubber tubing, a hunting knife, plastic garbage bags and approximately $600 in cash. Later searches also turned up a BB gun, the wig and handwritten directions to Shipman's house. According to an affidavit, Nowak, a married mother of three, told police she and Oefelein had "more than a working relationship, but less than a romantic relationship."

For good measure, the Post slugs Nowak's mugshot "Astro-nuts." Classy.

Maybe it's just me, but I can't giggle about this story. It isn't "offbeat." It's tragic. A woman got maced over an affair of the heart. That's awful. She could have ended up dead. I mean, her alleged assailant came armed with a steel mallet. I doubt she was planning to pitch a tent.

Spare a moment, also, to think about Nowak's husband and children. Imagine what it's going to be like for her kids at school. This cannot help but damage her family life, in addition to having ruined her career as an astronaut. I mean, how many kids dream of growing up to be an astronaut, versus the percentage who actually do it? It's all over now.

Love is wonderful, but it can also be fearful. It can take you places you never intended to go, keep you longer than you wanted to stay, and make you do things you never imagined yourself doing.

Nobody is immune to romantic jealousy. We're still primitive creatures when it comes to sex and love, even those in that small fraternity of humans who have left the earth to soar among the stars.

UPDATE

The Post gives the story a more serious treatment here, and reports that Nowack is being charged with attempted first-degree murder.