Fox's Brian Kilmeade refers to Irish and Italians as 'other species'

Fox and Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade seems to think that Italians and Irish people are something other than human.

While extolling the virtues of Swedish and Finnish societies, which he believes forbid their citizens from marrying outside their own ethnicities, Kilmeade suggested that marrying people of Irish or Italian descent amounts to bestiality.

KILMEADE: We keep marrying other species and other ethnics--

GRETCHEN CARLSON: Are you sure you are not suffering from some of the causes of dementia right now?

KILMEADE: The problem is the Swedes have pure genes. They marry other Swedes, that's the rule. Finns marry other Finns; they have a pure society. In America we marry everybody. We will marry Italians and Irish.

DAVE BRIGGS: This study does not apply?

KILMEADE: Does not apply to us.

[pause]

KILMEADE: Huh.

Wow.

Ironically, Ancestry.com says the surname "Meade" is an Irish variant of the English "Mead," which means "from the meadow."

Does Brian Kilmeade have a family? If so, is Mrs. Kilmeade aware that her children are, at best, only half human?

No, Bill, you can't marry a duck

Last time we heard from Bill O'Reilly on the unintended consequences of same-sex marriage, he was arguing that if two women are allowed to marry each other, the next thing you know a person would be allowed to marry a turtle.

Now, continuing his march through the animal kingdom, Billo says that if same-sex marriage is legalized, then waterfowl will be next on the list of interspecies nuptials.

If the California Supreme Court had allowed the gays to marry, then anybody could have gotten married. You could have married a duck because it would have been equal protection. And you can always explain, 'look, I want to marry three women or I want to marry two guys because I'm in love, this, that, and the other thing. That was always the legal problem with opening the door."

Okay, let's take this slow.

No, Bill. If two people of the same gender have the right to get married, a person would not gain the right to marry a duck.

A duck, like a turtle, does not have legal standing to enter into a contract. And, that is what marriage is. It is a legal agreement, a contract, between two people. If a duck could even be made to comprehend what a contract is, how would it sign its name to the marriage license, Bill? By grasping a ball point its pin feathers?

Gay marriage will not lead to interspecies marriage. Period.

How does the highest-rated personality on cable news continue to get away with making arguments that wouldn't escape ridicule in a bar at 1:30 in the morning?

Indiana woman arrested for bestiality after trying to get ex-boyfriend arrested for child porn

Michelle Owen had a brilliant idea about how to resolve a custody dispute with her ex-boyfriend and babydaddy.

She decided to tell the police about some kiddie porn that she claimed he had downloaded onto a laptop. She even invited the police to examine the laptop. They examined the laptop, and did in fact find incriminating files. Of Michelle. With a dog.

Owen, 24, was charged last week with two felony bestiality counts in connection with the video files, which a detective found in the laptop's "recycle bin." At the time Owen asked cops to search the computer, she was locked up in the Johnson County Jail on a public intoxication charge (which violated the terms of her release in a prior drunk driving case). According to a police affidavit, a copy of which you'll find here, a cop told Owen that he had found videos of her on the laptop and asked if she "knew what those files might be." Owen, pictured in the below mug shot, replied, "The one with the dog." Cops believe that the dog in question, Toby, is a beagle. After asking if she was "going to be charged with this," Owen said that the videos "were just something she did when she was drunk and barely remembers it," adding that she tried to "delete them the next day when she was sober."

Michelle seems to do really stupid things when she's drunk. Like having sex with a dog. And videotaping it. And making sure the police find it. When she gets out of jail, she should stop drinking. For realz.

And as perplexing as all of this is, the thing I really don't get is, why did she and the ex-boyfriend break up in the first place? They seem perfect for each other.